Federal Government: The Zombies Are Coming! The Zombies Are Coming!

There was a time when the lowly zombie only found a home in Hollywood, independent films, books, comics, and, of course... video games.  We could all be horrified, nauseated by the insurmountable content of gore, and especially entertained when one gets bludgeoned to undeath by a cricket bat.  Then, by the end of the movie, we could all sit back and relax ...that guy eating the other guy on the side of the road was only 'high on bath salts', and no one actually believes that a zombie apocalypse was nigh.

However...

Recently the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) released an info article, talking about how to prepare for a zombie apoca... what?!  Yep, a zombie apocalypse.  You read that correctly.  Of course, the writer of this article and Director of the CDC, Ali S. Khan, did this in a very clever tongue-in-cheek kind of way, but nevertheless, the US Federal Government is now telling the public to prepare for the dead to walk about eating the brains of the living.  ...interesting.

What's Really Happening Here?

Apparently, when the CDC released the report, there was so much buzz about the info article that the site ended up crashing.  Could it really be that the US Federal Government would warn the public about an impending zombie apocalypse?  Truth be told, not really.
The CDC's job is to control or prevent disease and pandemics, with a little disaster management on the side.  The interesting part is when you have a look at what they actually wrote in the article:

"So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored)."

Ah.  So, they're basically using the coming undead doom as a fun little game to get us to pay attention to the article.  This rag did stir up quite a bit of buzz, so that must have been the goal, right?  Just when we thought it was a joke, Khan goes and writes this:

"If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work)."

So, in one paragraph, the CDC takes us through what they plan to do in the event of a real zombie apocalypse.  Perhaps, if we were to ask this big wig, if he really believes that a zombie apocalypse were coming ...he'd probably say something like, "You're joking, right?"  No.  This article only gave the CDC a platform to talk about how they would manage a pandemic, while keeping it light and fun.  Of course, I do heartily disagree with the idea of lining up for a stay at Hotel FEMA (I advocate preparing now so you won't be forced to do so), but I see what they're doing here... they're taking a fun little topic and using to talk about a very serious and scary topic.
Interestingly enough, that seems to illustrate the zombie craze in its summation.  It's a disaster scenario of epic proportions, which shuts down the grid, and forces survivors to fight against other bipeds.  Whether those bipeds are undead or not, is irrelevant ...the 'zombie apocalypse' gives the excuse to discuss and prepare for such an unfortunate event.
It seems the federal government has finally caught on to that little fact.

Now, does the CDC actually know of a deadly and highly contagious virus that could trigger the collapse of society and force the rest of us to survive through bullets, blades, and buckets of rice?  I would bet my prepping on it.

-K. H. Danielsen